“Let France have good mothers, and she will have good sons” - Napoleon Bonaparte

A grantee shared an anecdote at a meeting this week that I absolutely loved and found so profound and meaningful. The previous week, he had been at an event where Archbishop Desmond Tutu spoke. During his speech, the Archbishop spoke at length about the influence his mother had on his politics, morality and character. The grantee had also seen former president Jimmy Carter, a man he equated in character to the Archbishop, speak and Carter also waxed eloquently about his mother's influence. The grantee observed that, in contrast, whenever he saw corporate figures speak, they inevitably commented on the influence of their fathers, whereas social activists credited their mothers, almost exclusively.

Carter and Tutu grew up in very different times when the roles of parents were very clearly delineated along gender lines which has to account for some aspect of this phenomenon. Do you think this differentiation in imparting character is still the norm? I would like to think it isn't.

I have had experiences that give me hope. I have been working in nonprofit/social change organizations exclusively for almost 23 years. During the 1980s and 90s I babysat extensively for a variety of fellow employees and the fathers were absolutely doing their parts to raise children with social consciences. But, honestly, in my experience, these guys are the exception rather than the norm.

I do think that, on the whole, fathers are freer to be more open and loving and involved with their children than in the past, that as society has evolved in terms of gender roles, fatherhood itself has evolved. Cultural evolution is, by its very nature, a slow process....

There's a popular old axiom "Slow and steady wins the race...." Here's to the slow and steady process of cultural evolution winning for the HUMAN race...

“And our dreams are who we are” - Barbara Sher

So if our dreams are who we are, what do recurring dreams say about us? For a very long time, I had a recurring dream that varied in its details, but the central premise was always the same. Something terrible was about to happen -- sometimes it was an earthquake, or Godzilla coming to attack. Whatever the terrible thing was, I knew that it was going to happen. And if people would only LISTEN to me, we had plenty of time to get away. But no one would listen...

Another variation has me unable to correctly dial 911 in an emergency or forgetting to go to work and not realizing it until the middle of the day and then being unable to correctly dial the office.

I dreamt about elevators for the longest time -- about being in an elevator and the floor suddenly sliding on a hinge and having to grip onto the walls to not fall out. Or being in a freight type elevator with no doors or walls.

Yet another had me dreaming for many years that my grandfather was not dead -- I would run into him unexpectedly someplace and realize the mistake I had made in thinking he was dead.

The dream about my grandfather, I think, was just a manifestation of grief. Most of the others, my amateur psychologist mind has discerned, are about frustration about not being heard, not having a voice, not being understood. I still have those dreams sometimes, though not nearly as often. They tend to recur when something of that nature is occurring in my life.

I haven't had the elevator one in years, and don't quite understand its meaning.

What are your recurring dreams and what do you think they say about you?

...with a single step....

Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers. - Isaac Asimov

When I came across this Asimov quote, it resonated so strongly with me that I immediately knew that I had not only found a title for the new blog I'd been planning, but received a message from the universe that I dearly needed to hear (or needed to remember), exactly at the moment I needed to hear it.

I have so much to say. So much to think through and get feedback on. So many things to comment on. (Seriously -- do these people REALLY think that if you run for President AND get elected, the powers involved in that process haven't ascertained that you are a CITIZEN who was born in the United States? Please stop wasting our time with this nonsense! I'd much rather hear about the theory that Bristol Palin is the mother of Trig and mommy dearest pretended to give birth as both a cover up for her daughter AND to score points with the right by giving birth to a child diagnosed in utero with Down's.)

I've been seduced by the instant gratification of Facebook and forgotten the satisfaction of really writing. How you can start out thinking you are going one place and the process leads you someplace completely unexpected and different. I haven't forgotten how much the support and thoughtful feedback I got on my Adopting Adam blog meant to me.

So, here I am....and with a single step....I am looking forward to to the journey.